I’m not normally one to jump in the deep end when it comes to relationships.
I’ve had my fair share of romantic relationships in my 35 years, some good, some bad, some boring, some exhausting. But they’ve all contributed to me developing a strong understanding of myself, my boundaries and what I really want out of life. So when I met Mr M (makes him sound so mysterious right…) I knew we would have something fun and special. At least a few great dates. What I didnt know is that 2 month’s after our first date (a golf lesson – in case anyone’s wondering what a sober sister like me does on a date) we would be moving in together.
I honestly don’t really know how it happened. A few weeks into dating I met his gorgeous daughters, that evening we daydreamed about how lovely it would be to all live together one day and it snowballed from there. It snowballed harder than Frosty playing winter sports in a snow globe in the South Pole.
So here we are. A few weeks into our new life together and this is the first chance I’ve had to write about it. I am typing from my gorgeous new living room, we just had our first BBQ where Mr M. served up a delish dinner and after cutting me a piece of steak, blew on it to cool it down before giving me some to try.
Ted’s sitting next to me purring away, covered in those sticky little seeds he seems to pick up as soon as he walks out into the garden. Ted has a garden! Which he loves and which I frantically call out to if he isnt back in the house before dark (the foxes are big in Surrey and he’s used to being pampered not frolicking with the nocturnals).
He also has stairs! I know this because he likes to run up and down them repeatedly at 4am every morning. He could not be more delighted with his new home and seeing him smile (yep – he smiles – I’m pretty sure its more like a grin) make all the stress of the move worthwhile.
Its not just Ted who is revelling in his new home. I am loving every bit of it, from deciding what ornament should go where to putting the recycling bin at the end of the drive every Wednesday (we have a drive!!).
I would love to say its been as easy going as a Richard Curtis film with a bit of Whitney playing on the soundtrack, but, truth be told its been bloody difficult. I haven’t lived with anyone for a long time (apart from Lord Ted). I’m independent and always have been, I do things for myself, in my timescales and relying on someone else in any way, shape or form was tough. Really REALLY tough for me. I had to step back and have a word with myself on numerous occasions throughout the last few weeks. I had to accept that my old pattern of being in relationships wasn’t always healthy, and that what I want is a partnership. An equal partnership.
I was never really fussed about a life with someone else, I was quite happy on my own in my gorgeous little flat. But that’s when opportunities come knocking isn’t it? When you are happy with yourself. I am still happy with myself, independently: but sharing my space and my heart has made me even happier. Which I didn’t think was possible.
It’s been a huge learning curve, for both of us. We decided to go for it, to take a risk and do one of the most stressful things a couple can do within the first few months of our relationship – whilst we are still getting to know each other. But I tell you what, building flat pack furniture is way easier and far more fun when you are doing it with someone. Much like building a life.
I am renting my flat out, I haven’t sold it. This girl may be in love but she aint stoopid!