First week wonderings

My first week at my new job has been and gone, it was fast, full on and fabulous.

I had a few last min jitters on Monday morning, mostly about remembering people’s names (my memory has taken a battering from me, well getting battered (I actually take supplements to try and improve it). But that was the extent of my worry. I walked in on Monday full of excitement, a new job which sounds fab for a company I know is great – lucky me!! A far, far cry from the anxiety I would have felt a few years ago, (I think I’m going to write about the viscous circle that is alcohol and anxiety, I get asked about it a lot).

The next 5 days were a bit of a whirlwind, travelling to different offices, being on calls about different projects, getting to grips with the company lingo and starting to build relationships with my colleagues. Who seem utterly lovely. So lovely that they took me out for dinner and drinks mid-week. At the bar of the local pub the convo started off a bit like this;

“Do you want to do rounds?”

“I’ll give the rounds a miss because I don’t drink”

“Ok cool, I’ll just get you one, what do you want to drink?”

“I’ll have an OJ please”

They went on and ordered their tipple of choice and not a word was spoken about me not drinking. Not one sh*t was given. So further into the evening I mentioned it again (just to make sure they heard me the first time you know?). We were talking about Ibiza – someone was going and asking if I had ever been;

“Loved it in my drinking days, would definitely go back but might be a bit different now I don’t drink”

They carried on the conversation, normally, like I hadn’t just announced a HUGE great big thing. HELLLLLLLLOOOOOO, I don’t drink, why doesn’t any body care!? Doesn’t this sort of revelation need a brass band to accompany it!

Where were you guys for my big statement??

No Katie, it does not.

People have bigger things to think about rather than pondering why the new girl doesn’t have a vino or two anymore. I hadn’t consciously wanted to make a big deal out of it but it struck me I had mentioned it more than once possibly because I wanted some attention, I probably wanted someone to say ‘ugh why’? Or give me a reaction, but they didn’t, because they are just nice normal folk who might not think it’s strange or a big deal. Which made me think, has it ever been a big deal? Or, because it’s big for me do I automatically think other people feel the same way?

We all have our own reality, which I really believe we create ourselves. What matters to us may not matter to others, we can’t change that. But we can change ourselves, to be whatever we want to be. This week has shown that. I am a totally different person to who I was 20/10/5 even 2 years ago, I have grown in so many ways (and stayed stubbornly still in others).

I’ve had a great first week, because I believe I chose to make it that way. I could have sought out and got involved in the office gossip, I could have worked longer hours to show my commitment, I could have done and not done a lot of things. But the most important thing for me this week was that I was true to myself, my reality, the real me for the first time. I wanted to protect my energy and keep it positive, because that’s whats important to me now, so I can pass that energy onto others.

We all have the power to change.

But when we do, we should do it for ourselves, not for other peoples attention or applause, and definitely not for any brass bands.

Katie xxx

Also, at what point is it acceptable to ask one of my new team to be my insta photographer? Too soon??

 

Leave a Reply